Amazon Woman defends against Colt
{Press Conference}
[Dr. Good]
We are here to announce that Pretty Boy Monty has retired from wrestling…..We informed him of the Dangers that he faced and he has decided to step away from the Sport he loves…….
(The press goes crazy…..questions are flying at the doctor……a “Representative” of THE FAMILY….walks to the podium….)
[Representative]
Ladies and Gentlemen…..sorry for this sudden announcement…….but that is what we have to say….Carolina Mangler and Black Shadow were released from their contracts and so is everyone else……We have no further comments at this time…..Pretty Boy Monty and the rest of THE FAMILY ….will soon make an official statement….Thank you
[Ed]
Interesting news from the camp of the Family.. looks like the Family is history. What do you know about this, Stevie?
[Stevie]
Hmms? About what? Did I miss something?
[Ed]
You know something, don’t you?
[Stevie]
Me? Look.. I just know what you know.. let’s get o?n with this show…
[Ed]
Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling for this week, I’m Ed Bagel and this is Stevie Cheesecake.
[Stevie]
The soon to dominate the ICWF , Stevie Cheesecake.
[Ed]
Well, we’ll see about that. Let’s hear from Sabin Figaro who will be taking o?n Scott Cobalt today. Remember, it was Scott Cobalt who attacked Figaro viciously with a steel chair just a few weeks ago right here o?n this show. Let’s go to these comments.
[Sabin Figaro]
Scotty Cobalt, very soon, the Kami known as Sabin Figaro shall take you to the other side… your have broken the law, you have put your hands o?n me, and very soon, the Bum Rush Fist Flurry will clam the o?ne known as Scott Cobalt will be lined in chalk. Let’s dance.
[Ed]
Let’s go to ringside….
This match is o?ne fall
Legion vs. Masked Mayhem
[Ed]
They lock up. Mayhem with a fisherman suplex… Whip by Mayhem, body drop.. no.. Legion sets up for a DDT.. but Mayhem counters that with a back drop. Mayhem early with a tombstone style piledriver. o?ne.. two.. kickout by Legion.
[Stevie]
Mayhem off the ropes, Legion with a back drop out of the ring. o?ne, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, Mayhem enters the ring. Legion with a piledriver. o?ne.. two.. kickout by Mayhem. Legion applies the STF… after a few seconds, Mayhem makes it to the ropes for the break.
[Ed]
Headbutt by Mayhem, then a faceslam o?n Legion. Mayhem with a figure four leglock, but Legion quickly makes it to the ropes for the break. Mayhem with a side suplex.
[Stevie]
Legion whips Mayhem into the corner.. Legion misses with a flying avalanche splash! Backslide by Mayhem.. o?ne.. two.. three!
The winner is Masked Mayhem. Time of match: 9:34
(The scene: the Chicago Bulls practice gym. The potential world champions are going through lay-up drills. The squeak of sneakers mixes with the incessant pounding of stray basketballs as they storm the boards. They stop as a voice calls to them from o?ne side.)
[Traci]
Excuse me boys!
(They turn, to see the Femmes, dressed for action; the girls wear skintight lycra short-shorts, matching crop-tops, and expensive athletic sneakers. A stylish “Femmes” runs across the chest. Gustaffson is clad in a looser-fitting version of the same.)
[Traci]
Care for a little pick-up game?
(Walking through the crowd is the legend himself, Michael Jordan, a basketball tucked under o?ne arm. Joining him are Scottie Pippin, Tony Kukoc, Dennis Rodman, and Luc Longley.)
[Jordan]
You nuts? This is *our* house. Get outta here before we–
[Rachel]
Stuff it, jerk-off. (She walks up to him, gets in his face, and says,) I’ve got ten grand that says we stomp a mud-hole in your asses.
[Jordan]
(Smiles, looking over her hard body; her togs leave nothing hidden–or to the imagination.) Lady, I don’t see a wallet stickin’ out anywhere.
[Traci]
Trust me, she’s good for it. Come o?n, what do you say? A little light warm-up before the championships?
[Rodman]
(Sneers at ‘em.) Yeah, Michael, let’s do it. They wanna see how it’s done, we’ll show ‘em.
(The other men nod and murmur in agreement.)
[Jordan]
(Shrugs.) It’s your funerals. (He fires the ball toward Traci, who catches it effortlessly.)
[Traci]
Let’s tip off, shall we?
(At center court, the primary members assume their stances. The ball is tossed, and Gustaffson easily bangs it toward Mariko. She darts and spins between Bulls defenders, before firing it through the legs of o?ne to Monica. She pulls up from three-point land and hits nothing but net.
[Monica]
Next time, you should actually try and guard the net, boys.
[Mariko]
Hei. You no seem “bullish” to me.
(A bit surprised, the Bulls inbound the ball, and start down-court. Pippen gets it inside and goes up for the jumper, to get rejected hard by Gustaffson. The ball sails away to Traci, who moves o?n a fast break with Rachel. They pass the ball back and forth, until Rachel leaps toward the hole as Traci line-drives it to her. The backboard shudders as she performs an alley-oop dunk.)
[Rachel]
Wooo!!! (High-fives Traci.)
[Traci]
That’s the way to jam, baby!
(The astonished Bulls try to regroup, passing it back and forth, moving briskly down-court. The ball gets bounced to Jordan, who tries to make a move to the basket, but is shadowed hard by Mariko. He whirls and takes an off-balance shot, which rims and bounces away. Rodman goes for the rebound, but glances helplessly off Gustaffson as the giant snags the ball. Traci is already o?n the move down-court, and a bullet pass finds her five feet from the basket. She takes two steps and leaps, then nails a devastating tomahawk jam.)
[Traci]
Better eat your Wheaties, boys!
(The Bulls players respond quickly, trying to catch the Femmes in transition–and failing. Kukoc makes a pass to Longley, but Monica intercepts it and heads down-court. Both teams sprint after her, and take up their positions. Monica races around the top of the key, and Rachel picks off Pippen, giving her an open look to the lane. She bounce-passes to Gustaffson, who shrugs off a Rodman bearhug to stuff it in. The Bulls’ rebounder goes tumbling away as Gustaffson lands.)
[Gustaffson]
DAT vas vor mugging Shaq, you tattooed vreak!!!
(The remainder of the game goes identically, as the Femmes totally dominate. The Bulls muster o?nly a few lucky baskets, and are soon left wheezing for breath, unable to match the skill and athleticism they face. Monica and Mariko dominate the perimeter shooting, knocking down threes with systematic precision, while Rachel, Traci, and Gustaffson taking turns driving to the hole. Finally, in frustration, the Bulls take to committing hard fouls, attempting to hack and bully the Femmes, but this results in the contact being returned twofold. Enraged, Jordan swings at Traci, and the brawl is o?n. Outnumbered twelve to five, they attempt to gang up o?n the Femmes, but they are no match for them. Mariko spin-kicks and throws her opponents, as Monica clubs and batters more. Rachel squares off with Rodman, whom she presses and slams to the hardwood. Gustaffson delivers a vicious double clothesline to Longley and Pippin, leaving Traci alone with Jordan. She stuffs a foot into his abdomen, then presses him overhead.)
[Traci]
Here’s your “living legend”!
(In a fluid motion, she jumps, pulls him down in front of her, locks him in, and Gorilla Press Piledrives him into the wood. He twitches and jerks as the Femmes high-five o?ne another and walk away.)
[Traci]
That was most invigorating. I guess the Sonics will be grateful.
[Rachel]
They *oughtta* be.
[Traci]
Y’know, you and Gus had a great match. I *never* thought you’d get him up for the press slam.
[Rachel]
Neither did I…. (They laugh. Gus blushes and chuckles.)
[Traci]
Mariko, Monica–you two really went at it. It’s a shame the match went to a draw. I would have liked having another Femme with me in the later rounds. I guess you guys found out how tough a Femme can be first-hand.
[Monica]
It’s just bad luck that we faced each other in the first round, Mariko. Oh well, I always said it takes a Femme to beat a Femme.
[Traci]
Who are you gunning for now?
[Monica]
I’m looking forward to Crazy Eights, and locking up with some of these ICWF stars. The Python Princess especially. Before that, I’m going to be warming up o?n Prince Fredrick. He looks like he needs an ego deflation… and a make-over.
[Rachel]
Hey, everybody–let’s head for Anthony’s. I wanna see if the Elite are up for a game.
[Traci]
Sounds great. Get the jet primed–we’re outta this dump!
[Stevie]
Looks like the Femme’s are ready for Crazy Eights. They better be. Let’s go down to ringside.
This grudge match is o?ne fall.
Scott Cobalt vs. Sabin Figaro.
[Ed]
They lock up. Cobalt quickly whips Figaro into the ropes, and catches him with a backdrop. Cobalt is all over Figaro.. a European uppercut, and a Belly-to-back suplex. Figaro ducks a savate kick and nails Cobalt with a power clothesline.
[Stevie]
Sabin Figaro goes for a dropkick, but Scott Cobalt dodges that o?ne. Cobalt with a stomachbreaker and a flying headbutt. Cobalt misses with a clothesline, and Figaro clotheslines him out of the ring.
{{{{Time elapses-Both men taking tremendous amount of punishment… in and out of the ring.}}}}
[Ed]
Scott Cobalt climbs the turnbuckle, but Figaro catches him and throws him off… Fist flurry by Figaro and a cover.. o?ne.. two.. three!
The winner is Sabin Figaro. Time of match: 0:15:09
( JetStream watching his match against Amazon Woman. He sees her foot o?n the ropes
when she pinned him. Outraged, he throws a chair at the screen .)
Amazon Woman, you got scared so you cheated. I was the first to kick out of your running powerslam and you obviously panicked so you decided to cheat. Well, has far as I’m concerned, I’m still the North American Champion. You had to cheat to win & you know what happens to cheaters. They always get what’s coming to them. Now for what I’m really interested in is a shot at that World Title. So Champ, do I get a shot. Sign o?n the dotted line if your not afraid of the Jetman. Amazon Woman, see you in HELL.
(screen fades to black )
{screens shows JetStream losing to Amazon Woman at Press Your Luck}
[Announcer]
Luck was not with him as he lost his crown to Amazon Woman.
{screen shows Traci Lane losing to Intimidator in the finals of the Press Your Luck tournament}
[Announcer]
And neither was luck riding her shoulder o?n that night. But now they’ll battle to see who will get a shot at the most coveted prize in wrestling… .the OWA Championship.
JetStream takes o?n Traci Lane, next week o?n OWA Championship Wrestling.
This match is o?ne fall and is a contender’s match for the OWA Tag Team Championship
Stacks Coltrain/Executioner vs. Mariko/Monica Brant.
[Ed]
As both teams make their way to ringside, the Chiefs are attacking…
[Stevie]
Hmm.. seems a couple guys aren’t happy with the way things have been going.. Stallion attacks Mariko.. and Mustang just nailed Executioner with a chair… hold o?n back in the ring..
[Ed]
From behind, Monica has the Fashion Statement o?n Stacks! She’s going out.. the ref calls for the bell.. we need some order restored here…
The winners are Mariko and Monica Brant. Time of match: 2:29
[Mr. Excitement]
Well boys I’ve been kind of quiet lately BUT I’m Back baby! I was o?n a killer movie tour. I made 4 of them. 1st I was in a movie called GOOD TIMES costarred with Pamela Anderson and what a Good time that was. 2nd I was in a film called Rock o?n with Wesley Snipes. 3rd I was in Break of Dawn with John Claude Van Dame. 4th I was in JANE co stared with Michele Fifer. What a tour huh well I’m back in the OWA and Boyzzzzz watch out!
This match is o?ne fall and is for the OWA TV Championship
Intimidator vs. Shogun
{{{Match joined in progress}}}
[Ed]
Intimidator whips Shogun into the ropes. Shogun misses with an elbow. Shogun hits Intimidator with a kick. Shogun runs into the ropes. Shogun goes for a Japanese armdrag takedown, but Intimidator counters it with an elbowsmash. Intimidator nails him with a powerslam. o?ne, two, kickout by Shogun.
[Stevie]
Intimidator takes him down with a dropkick. Intimidator nails him with a spinning power bomb. o?ne, kickout. Shogun throws Intimidator out of the ring. Shogun goes through the ropes. Intimidator knocks Shogun into the ringpost. Intimidator whips Shogun in to the safety railing. Intimidator reenters the ring.
The bell rings and I think Shogun is counted out.
The winner is Intimidator. Time of match: 20:29
[Stealth V]
Executioner you eliminated me in the Battle Royal. I want a shot at you o?ne o?n o?ne in the ring.
[Myers]
This is your Crazy Eights Update! Coming to you in mid-July, the OWA in cooperation with the ICWF will bring you Crazy Eights: The ICWF vs. The OWA. The concept is rather simple.. eight 8-wrestler battle royals. The winners of each of those battle royals will then go to a final 8-wrestler battle royal.
Now.. there will be some single matches assigned for this match and o?ne we know of for sure is Nabiki Yen taking o?n her former tag team partner Prince Frederick.
Now.. let’s get to the battle royals.
Battle Royal number o?ne will feature these OWA Superstars: OWA TV Champion Intimidator, Traci Lane, Johnny Stallion, and Johnny Blades.
Battle Royal number two will feature there OWA Superstars: OWA’s North American Champion Amazon Woman, JetStream, Colt, and Masked Mayhem.
We’ll have more info for you as we get it.. let’s go back to ringside for our main event.
This match is o?ne fall and is for the North American Championship.
Amazon Woman vs. Colt.
{{{{Match joined in progress.. Colt has dominated the match…}}}}
[Ed]
Colt places Amazon Woman o?n the turnbuckle. Colt executes a belly-to-back superplex. Colt nails her with an atomic drop. Colt whips Amazon Woman into the ropes. Colt goes for a crucifix, but Amazon Woman counters it with a Samoan drop.
[Stevie]
Colt with a spinebuster slam! Colt is setting her up.. the Reverse Crucifix Slam! He has the cover.. o?ne.. two.. HER FOOT IS IN THE ROPES! Colt thinks he’s won.. Amazon with a roll up.. she got the tights.. o?ne.. two.. three!
The winner is Amazon Woman. Time of match: 18:06
[Ed]
Another cheap win for Amazon Woman.. that’s all the time we have for this week.. we’ll see you next week for OWA Championship Wrestling.
